you've already asked.
i've already said no.
why keep doing this?


it would just be too awkward. you dated one of my best friends! it's not
going to happen so just stop asking. please. i dont want stuff to be
awkward between us. i just want to keep on being friends. please stop.

August 2008. I go to the doctor for my yearly check up..cause I have to. I get some blood drawn because my mother wished it to happen and eventually I find out that I have Hypothyroidism. My thyroid does not work at all. Dr. Phillips being a doctor..duh...tells me that maybe that's why I've gained weight, can't sleep, and all these different things. She also says that maybe that's why i've been feeling depressed. Thought I guess it doesn't take much for a college girl to be depressed; especially me. I mean..I've been going to GMC for a year now and not a single person worth my time has even noticed me. It's just like being in frickin high school. There have been countless classes i've been in that the guys always talk to the pretty girls. The stick skinny pretty girls...and I know they don't know them because they are introducing themselves within like five minutes of class. I know alot of you are like bitch introduce yourself duh? Why should I? Apparently I'm not good enough anyway...

I'm so sick of being lonely and feeling this way. I mean I just invited a past friend of mine to the fair with me and my cousin and even she turned me down. What does it take to be noticed by you people? What does it take to actually gain some good friends? The ones that won't run off and ditch you for someone else..

So many of my 'friends' from high school are getting married. We JUST graduated two years ago and they are getting married. I haven't even had a boyfriend. A SINGLE BOYFRIEND!?! 

I guess I really must be that fuckin revolting...

Well...there's not really a point to this, it's just kind of something to do.

So this morning i woke up at like 4 o'clock, which has obviously become a daily occurance. I've honestly started to think that i have insomnia. It's like, if i can't go to sleep by atleast one in the mornin, then i'm awake until like nine in the morning. I don't know what my issue is, but i would really LOVE to be able to sleep sometime. Anyway, today I'm up writing this because I'm supposed to be up when the roofing man gets here. Why do I need a roofing man you ask? Well I'll tell you. A couple months ago, a tornado pretty much scared the shit out of me. The tornado itself didn't screw up the house, cause it wasn't actually like close enough i guess. Anyway, the hail from the tornado screw up so much on the house. Window screens, shutters, vinyl, roofing....whatever it could hit it destroyed. My parents, cousin and myself got home and started hearing some thunder and stuff. So I was just like, psh it's just a thunderstorm. Now usually when I hear thunder and stuff, I open the front door cause I don't know I just do. Dude...I opened the door this time and I swear to you the trees were pretty much bending all the way to the ground thanks to the wind. So I called them over and I was like dude check this crap out, so my parents came over and stuff started to get worse.

So I shut the door and all that stuff and not even five minutes later hail stones started pounding on the roof. These weren't like itty bitty hail stones either. I mean these things were golf ball size and bigger. It was crazy. The electricity ended up going out for like a day and a half. Which sucked. Thankfully I got a Ipod last Christmas. lol.

Anyway, we all lived through it. Needless to say I always get terrified when storms roll through now.

Back to the roofing people, they haven't showed up. Which is pretty smart of them especially since they wouldn't get much done with such a high chance of rain and all.

My cousin is supposed to be coming over today, even though I don't want him to. Ya'll he seriously called like a million times monday asking if he could come over. He was blowin up every phone in the house. House phone, my cell phone, my moms cell phone. He probably would have hit up my dad's if he'd known the number. He'd call one, if no one picked up, he'd call the next and so on and so forth. I mean, if we don't pick up the first few times, don't keep callin dumbass. I mean really, what could you possibly want to do here. I don't have anything for you to do. Plus you don't have a car how the hell you gonna get here? And I hope you don't think my mom is gonna let you borrow her car, nor my dad or papa's truck? You must be off your rocker.

Speaking of dumbass cousins. I seem to have a lot of them. lol. Anyway, Aimee is about to drive me crazy with her stupid ass "boyfriend". Firstly let me start by saying....STATUTORY RAPE. -cough- Now that that is out of my system...how about you seperate yourself from him? I mean really, do you even talk to anyone besides this loser who apparently can't get a date with someone his own age because he is THAT much of a LOSER? I swear to the highest power...if you drop out of school for this loser...not only will I kick your ass and his...you will NEVER hear from me again. You will be cut out of my life due to your stupidity.

Ok...I think i'm done with this entry.

Ok so, every morning, being the nice daughter that I am, I get up and cook my parents breakfast in the morning. I figure, since I don't have a job it's the least I can do, you know take some stress off of my mom's shoulders. It's actually turned me into a little Betty homemaker. I EVEN wash the dishes voluntarily...which is a big thing cause I HATE washing dishes.

Anyway, this morning I got up and decided that for a change I wanted to cook myself breakfast. Well I open my parent's bedroom door to see dad eating the cake that I cooked last night. The cake thats LOADED with sugary icing. Now don't call me a doctor or anything but i'm pretty sure that eating cake for breakfast isn't good for diabetes. HELLO? Can we get more ignorant about the fact that we have diabetes dad? Don't ask me to stab you with a needle for your daily shot of insulin. So I ask him if he'll take the dog out to pee, but as always he bitches about doing it, complaining about not having shoes on yadda yadda. He's honestly the biggest baby ever. So I just tell him screw it i'll do it. Meanwhile i'm pitchin a mini bitch because he NEVER walks the dog when I need him too, yet I'll bust my ass to walk the dog when he's watching HIS favorite television show.

So I spend the next 20 minutes outside waiting for the dog to shit and finally come back in. Yes I have an attitude, it doesn't take long for me to get one. I've wasted plenty of time to cook breakfast, waiting on Abbie, so I put her up and practically stomp back to the kitchen. I mention that dad doesn't need to eat cake for breakfast as I'm asking if he wants toast, which I guess automatically started momma up. So she starts coming at me saying I need to watch my tone, this and that.

You know, you asked me to make you breakfast so I do, and I mention that your HUSBAND not eat cake and you have the nerve to come to me? How about you put the needle in is arm when he needs it. So she carries on about how much dad loves me and all this stupid shit that I've heard before. I'm sure he does love me, cause you know he is my father, but I mean seriously. There's only so much of this shit I can take.

So what if I have anger issues? It's only cause i've been in this house for 20 fucking years. I can't take this shit anymore.

So I have decided to try to actually keep one of these things. Maybe it'll be updated. Maybe not. It all depends on my schedule.

So spring break started for me Monday. I haven't done anything and I don't think I will. Not because I don't want to but because my parents are retarded and don't want to do anything. Although I do think i'm going to Macon tomorrow. Yay! I won't be in the house.

I'm sick of being in Highschool. The stupid immature drama is full of bullshit. I mean really. I spoke my side of the story and I made peace. So why the hell is everyone still mad at me. This is insane and it's also the reason why I can't wait to get graduate and get the hell away from Georgia and the losers that go to my school.


They can all kiss my ass.

<3